The Honor of the Lasts
When I first picked up a camera, I made all kinds of photos without really putting too much thought into it.
If I liked it, I clicked the shutter on my point-and-shoot and promptly forgot about it until I finally decided to get the film developed and then it was like Christmas morning flipping through the photos. Some would get an "oh yeah I love that (insert object or person here)," and sometimes it was an awkward "what the hell was I trying to do here!"
Now, what seems like 150 years later, I often find myself doing the same. I load a memory card and go to bed. When I come back to look at what I captured, it's usually after a bit of time has passed (I'm always behind with my editing), and I get to experience the same "oh yeah, I remember that!" or the inevitable "What the hell was I thinking?".
But what I've come to realize is that I am a keeper of memories and it's not something I take for granted.
The first time I sat and edited a gallery with the clear understanding that what I was looking at was most likely a collection of lasts, it hit me really hard. It knocked the wind out of me, and I had to step away from my editing more than once. It took digging deep and finding a way to shift my perspective from what was being lost to what was being preserved.
Since then, I have had the highest honor of capturing many more lasts. Some expected and some tragic surprises. But with each, I am reminded of what a gift it is to bear witness to your memories. To click through each image and decide if it needs to be a little warmer, or a little brighter, or cropped a certain way, or if the image tells me it belongs as a black & white. To relive each moment and remember what made you laugh, or what brought tears to your eyes. To be back there with you, experiencing moments alongside you, and to click that shutter button over and over in hopes of documenting your love and connection and freezing it in time forever. I'm not sure I'll ever have the words to say what's in my heart knowing, or later realizing, some of these moments were lasts.
I carry your moments with me, always.
Kristy